Weights and Measurements

I am 14 pounds lighter today than yesterday. Yesterday I stepped on the scale and it said 172 pounds -- extremely depressing since last time I stepped on the scale at home it said 164, which was bad enough. Was madly wondering if gravity is different because we're further north or something when I noticed the scale is calibrated in kilos and there was no 100. I weigh 72 kilos or 158 pounds -- much better. "Good," though, will involve either a diet or a gravity change. (Am weighing a move to Finland. Never heard of a fat Finn.)

The conversion wasn't difficult because I have this new iPhone (insert choir of angels here) and among its million applications is one that converts practically anything to practically anything else instantly. Also found one that translates English to French and then says the phrase for you in computerese -- like Hal 9000 with uvular r's. Very satisfying. So then I bought a flashlight and a dictionary and the New York Times crossword puzzle downloaded daily, and the whole spree cost $9.97. I didn't think I would like my iPhone (angels redux). I was hideously, giddily wrong.

I used my nifty converter to figure the U.S. cost of the steak and glass of wine I had splurged on from room service night before last: $76. So on Friday I ordered a chicken caesar salad and ice water: $32.

Tonight I went to McDonald's.

However, I made up for it by shopping, having unaccountably failed to bring a raincoat to England of all places. Today it rained, so today I shopped -- damply. Got a little blue trench on sale and discovered something very gratifying: In England they still fold new clothes before they bag them.

Was at Macy's last week picking up a few things for the trip and found myself grinding my teeth watching them take a respectable amount of my annual clothing budget, ball it up and stuff it in plastic like so many lettuce heads. Made a rather grandiose show of removing the things, folding them myself and reinserting them in the bag. I thought this would make a point, or at least an impression; all the woman at the counter did was look at me with blankly bovine patience.

Macy's used to be a nice place to shop; now it is Sears without the lawnmowers.